We Shouldn’t Be Attending Funerals

Saying goodbye to two friends in less than two months has been hard. We have cried until we hurt all over. 36 and 37 years old. That’s too young to have to say goodbye. These should be the best years of our lives; raising our kids, loving our spouses, and chasing our dreams.

We shouldn’t be attending funerals.

Now, I know that these guys both knew the Lord and because of this, they are in a better place. I know that if we put our faith and trust in Jesus, that yes, we will see them again some day. And while that does bring a little bit of comfort; it doesn’t fill the hole.

These two men are in heaven. But they left their wives and kids behind. These two mamas are widowed. These two mamas are now single parents who will have to try to work twice as hard to provide for their households. These two mamas are left trying to explain why Daddy isn’t there, and No, for the 300th time, we can’t go see him. And no, he isn’t coming home. And every time her heart will ache.

All new routines. One bedtime hug instead of two. An empty pillow that still smells like him. A tear stained pillow that hasn’t seen sleep in weeks. A closet filled with clothes that only serve as a reminder that he’s gone. And the heartache grows.

Yes, I believe that God heals. Yes, I believe God will give these mamas strength. And yes, I believe they will have friends and family that will step in and play vital roles in making the next few weeks and months successful.

But Daddy is still gone.

It’s not fair. It’s not right. I don’t like it. And it sucks.

My insides ache for these mamas. Every birthday, holiday, and family gathering is going to be hard. All of the firsts are going to make them miss Daddy even more. Mama will still be there cheering those little ones on and they are going to bounce back so much better than she realizes. But that doesn’t make Daddy come back. Or miss him any less.

I’m not angry with God, but I just don’t understand. Why take the good ones? Why take these men who were loving their families well. Why? Why? Why?

We may never know why. But I do know that life is going to be really, really hard on these families for a while and they are going to need our prayers, love and support more than ever. We can’t take Daddy’s place, no one ever can; but we can help fill the gap, some way, some how.

hand1Oh Dear Jesus,

Hold us as we we cry. Cradle us as we weep. Catch every tear and hold it close to your heart. We can’t make it through without your help. We just don’t understand, but we need help trusting that you are still good. When it doesn’t make sense, give us the faith to grab your outstretched hand.  Bless these precious, grieving families. Grant added strength to those weary mamas. And give us the strength to not quit living, but to live even fuller than before.



  1. My sister was left a widow with a nine year old. No one should have to deal with that. Your fridends are in my thoughts and prayers.My niece is now a sophomore in college, still missing her daddy but making her way successfully in the world. It sucks but it can be done.

  2. There is a funny meme out there in cyberland that goes something like,”If God only gives us as much as we can handle He must think I am a bad ass.” So, that is funny but it does ring true. Strong Christian families with powerful support systems can make it so much better through a tragedy than a kid in foster care, with nobody for support. I don’t pretend to know the mind of God, just offering up some observations after 58 years around lots of all kinds of kids. Love ya.

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