Inspirational Musings

Moms Get Added Grace

Moms get added grace. Our daily normal is an odd mixture of cheerleader, peace-keeper, motivator, intervener, mess-overlooker, encourager, cleaner-upper, tear-wiper, hand-holder, runner-afterer, hug-giver, and builder-upperer. I’ll give an example. My oldest turned six last month. One of the adventures we promised him was that he and Daddy would go zip-lining at Tree to Tree Adventures in Tallahassee. Bravery is often hard to come by for a little guy, so I spent days encouraging him. We played out different scenarios and I built that confidence up.

Fast forward. Daddy is zip-lining on the adult course. The little one, who will be two this week, makes a massively stinky diaper present. My oldest wants to try to go to the bathroom before he goes zip-lining and is trying to manage on one of those super tall toilets. We are in the big stall that has a changing table and little man makes the process almost impossible by kicking where feet ought not kick while stinky diaper issues are being cleaned up. Big kid is moaning, groaning and fussing about his hands hurting as he is trying to do his thing and hold himself up. I get little man changed and set him down. He finds every disgusting surface to touch while I am encouraging the older one (you mamas know). Older one is crying because nerves apparently got his system wacky. Wants me to hold his hand. Turn my back for a half second and little one is sliding under the stall on his back trying to escape. All I see are germs. I scurry over and drag him back under. He sneaks over and tries to climb into brother’s lap, but I pull him away. Older child is frantic at this point and wants me to reschedule and take him home. Younger child finds random toilet paper pieces and shoves them into spinny trashcan lid as far as his arms can reach. Again-so many germs. I shoo him away and try to encourage the older one, again. Little one finds soap dispenser and  drips soap all over the floor. I chase him back and he sits, sprawled out on the floor. So gross. My insides are cringing at the germs. He slides his legs back and forth like a snow angel and laughs hysterically. He gets up wants to love all over me with his public potty, germ infested self. Eww! The older one needs my encouragement again so I direct focus there. Little one suddenly appears with a plunger from who the heck knows where and begins swinging it like he is a long lost knight of the round potty or something! stock-photo-illustration-for-children-the-super-kid-hero-with-toilet-plunger-and-viking-hat-realistic-353547500While all of this is going down, I begin wondering what kind of crowd we have attracted outside and try to push the thoughts away and focus on moving this moment along. Finally we have success and I manage to get little guy to drop the plunger and stop touching everything he can reach. We wash hands and every other exposed surface of the skin!

And just like that, life goes back to normal.

They go to the playground, run around like nothing ever happened while mommy finds a bench and talks herself down off of the edge and reminds herself that it’s just a part of the job. Oldest child feels better and is ready for ropes course and zip-line. Brave does not even begin to describe how he handled that course! He was so confident and never wavered. All  of that pep-talking was worth it!When he got to the end, the guide asked if he wanted to go again and he did! My overly cautious child owned it!100_4648[1].JPG

 

In that moment, I didn’t care that my children wreaked havoc on my nerves. I didn’t care that my little one was covered in germs that I probably couldn’t even pronounce. All that mattered was that we got to cheer on my oldest as he conquered this new adventure. Little man got to see all of the “Beeeeg Dinnnnoooos” (big dinos) and practice saying it all day long; running until he literally stopped moving. We had a great day as a family doing something we don’t often get to do. And God absolutely gave me the grace that I needed for each step of the way.

God does that. He gives us mamas added grace because we never know what the next moment may hold. These babies are important and they need us to be on our A-game. Even when the germs gross us out and the moments seem to never end. He always gives us just enough grace to behold the biggest blessings of our lives.

 

 

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Inspirational Musings

Holy Spirit Power

I was 18 years old and in a country halfway across the world. I had just experienced a six hour bus ride up and around a mountain on a pothole-ridden dirt road. We had a live chicken, tied up in a bag, slide back and forth under our feet, squawking and fussing the whole time. And to top it off, I had the privilege of visiting a “public restroom” that was door-less and contained open-hole squatties that emptied down a long shoot into a pig trough.

The town we arrived in was small and at the top of a mountain. Our hotel had a stunning view and was complete with a small bowl and bar of soap to wash our clothes. Dirt roads lined the town as small concrete buildings acted as homes and business. It was one of the nicer towns we had visited during our summer there and it was one of the most unique as well. We had been told that the only churches allowed, unless they were secret house churches, were all controlled by the government. As we met local believers in this town, we realized that somehow this church was meeting but the government in the town didn’t regulate their worship or doctrine. They were meeting twice a week and were able to teach the WHOLE TRUTH!

The next day we were invited to visit the church and they gathered many of the members together. Our translators relayed the amazing story as we stood in a circle in a dimly lit stone building. There were no men in the congregation and the oldest lady there acted as the pastor. She said they had prayed and prayed for a man to be the leader of the church but no men would step up. Then she prayed that God would send them someone who could read so that they could do more than just sing hymns and pray, but also learn what God’s commands said. When no one came, she and the congregation prayed fervently that the Holy Spirit would supernaturally open her eyes to be able to read the words of scripture.

Who is the Holy Spirit?

As she opened up the only bible in the church, with a faith bigger than she could muster on her own, the words leaped off of the page! She had never been able to read a day in her life and all of a sudden, God answered the prayers of this hungry congregation. She wasn’t able to read anything else, only God’s Word! How incredible!

As we all stood in a circle, holding hands, tears streaming down our faces, we experienced the power of the Holy Spirit. The local believers began singing a familiar hymn in their language and we joined in English. We worshiped. With a people distant and different but suddenly as close as kin. Sisters. Daughters of the powerful King I served.

I left that meeting overwhelmed. My faith was so weak; my concept of God, so small. I had never had to depend on God like that, much less experience such a tangible miracle as these women had just relayed. I remember asking God to increase my faith; to teach me to believe and expect the unimaginable.

I sit here 17 years later recalling this amazing memory that changed my whole understanding of the power of the Holy Spirit and I still pray that God would increase my faith. But then these questions keep resounding again and again: What or who am I investing in that would require this kind of faith? Is my life too safe? What holy risks do I need to take? What faith-filled prayers do I need to take the chance of praying so that others will come to know Jesus? Am I…Are we living a faith-filled walk with Jesus?

Maybe it’s time we take the chance…

 

Inspirational Musings

Mama, is He Going to Take You Away?

“Mama, why are you pulling over?” my son asked.

“Because there is a policeman with his lights flashing behind me.”

hqdefaultTears filled my five year old’s face, “Mama, is he going to take you away?”

My son has been totally obsessed with rules and laws ever since a safety presentation at school in May. He is always asking me about the speed limit and if I am going too fast. Comments like, “Safety first!” and, “Mama, slow down,” have become regulars in my car.

So when the policeman walked up to my window and asked for my Driver’s License, my son totally freaked out. “I clocked you at 25 in a 15 mph speed zone. I am only giving you a warning, but make sure you slow down in the future.”

I thanked the officer and looked back at my son. Big heaves had started, “Mama, you don’t have any drugs , do you?” I had to choke back a laugh at this point. We have been talking about all of the things that were serious enough for someone to go to jail and he knew drugs was one of them.

“No, Baby. Mama doesn’t have any drugs. There is nothing that Mama has done that would make that policeman take me out of this car. He is just doing his job and trying to keep the roads safe. I was going too fast on that neighborhood road and he is just warning me to slow down in the future.”

More tears and heaves and then he said, “Mama, I had a really bad dream that Daddy was throwing dirt on bad people in a hole and that the police came and took him away,” more tears, “Mama, don’t let the police take you and Daddy away.”

Honestly at this point I was trying to stifle laughter. My poor child is having a major life crisis thinking that both of his parents are going to jail and I am just laughing at the irony of it all. Lately, every time we have passed a cop my son has asked me if I am going to get a ticket. I always assure him that they aren’t going to give me a ticket. If we go through a yellow light he asks if I am going to get pulled over. I always assure him that I am not getting pulled over. And doggone it, here I am parked on the side of the road waiting for the cop to return with my license and warning notice for breaking a traffic law.

So, a teachable moment arrived and I stepped up to the challenge. “Baby, nobody is taking Mama and Daddy away. That was just a dream and Mama just went too fast and is getting a warning, like your teacher gives to students before they have to move their clip. That policeman just wants the roads safe and he is warning me to slow down or next time I will get a ticket.”

“A ticket? Does that mean they are going to take you away using that ticket?” Well that whole teachable moment thing backfired. Tears started falling all over again. The policeman brought me my license and warning notice and we pulled back into traffic, a lot slower this time, and headed home.

Then it dawned on me. My son has been so afraid of breaking the rules that he has worried himself into a live-wire bundle of nerves. It’s not the rules that are binding him, but the fear he has associated with breaking the rules.

As we pulled up in our yard, I reached over, grabbed my son’s hand and looked him in the eyes, “Don’t let your fear keep you from enjoying the ride. Mama might go a little over the speed limit from time to time but if all you do is watch the speedometer then you are going to miss everything else. Fear of doing something wrong or of something bad happening keeps us trapped. Don’t be so afraid all of the time that you miss the fun and joy of playing with your friends and doing fun things with your family. Obeying the rules is important, but we can’t let the fear of breaking the rules be in charge of us or we are going to be miserable.”

Maybe my son wasn’t the one who needed that teachable moment. I think maybe this whole set up was for me. “Don’t let your fear keep you from enjoying the ride.” Alright, God, I hear you loud and clear…

 

 

Inspirational Musings

Every. Second. Worth. It.

That quaking awakening. Everything in the room is blurry. My brain is desperately trying to pinpoint my location. My heart feels like it is going to beat out of chest. Slowly I recall my everyday involvement in a life that I have somehow ceased to remember for only the faintest of a second.

Then the cry. The original reason for the abrupt jerk back into reality. The sound that motivates a mother like nothing else ever will. I run-walk across the wood floor, careful not to disturb any other members of the house. As I reach the source, sleep has since overtaken.

I stare. Watching him breathe in deeply. A huge smile spreads as I take in this unplanned moment in time. I linger a little longer than I should and throw a thank you up the King. Thank you for allowing me to be his mom. Thank you for sharing such a precious gift with me.

So many quaking awakenings. Precious sleep interrupted by a cry or a yell. Many trips across that creaky, wooden floor. Nights of lingering glances. Midnights and mornings spent listening, watching, and praying. A heart completely full. A heart completely thankful. A wholly, satisfied, tired mother.

But it is all worth it. Every. Second. Worth. It.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 NIV

Inspirational Musings

“Beeeeg Pooool”

thX0IPFAXHDaniel, my 21 month old son, went swimming yesterday in a “beeeeg pooool” for the first time this summer. The child is fearless. He climbed up the steps, ran over to where I was standing, held his finger up 3 times counting, “One, one, one, DOE!” Then he jumped whether I was ready or not. Even though he had on a flotation-style bathing suit and a ring, he still scared me to death every time he jumped in.

I guess because I have a somewhat fearful personality, his boldness presents quite the new learning curve. He is not a “look before you leap” kind of kid; he’s an act now and think about the consequences later personality type. I have always envied people like that. By the time I get the courage to do something, I have already missed it because I spend all of my time overthinking it.

As I watched this fearless child repetitively scare the ever-living-hooey out of me yesterday, I realized that he is confident because he wholeheartedly trusts me. He knows Mama is going to catch him when he jumps. He doesn’t worry, overthink, doubt, or fear; he just trusts and he jumps.

Wouldn’t life be so much easier in our walk with Christ if we would just trust and jump? If we would just trust that Jesus is our security and jump when he prompts our hearts, can you imagine how much simpler life would be? What if starting today, we all just ran up to the side of God’s “beeeeg pooool” of life and started jumping into his arms and trusting that he would catch and guide us where we should go? We will never know what it’s like until we give it a try!

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.”       Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG