Heartspeak

It’s been an unusually busy week for me. It’s the kind of week where I never really got to unwind or decompress. It’s like one activity just ran right into the next and then Carter got sick right in the middle of the busyness. Weeks like this, I feel like I’m out of touch with myself, my thoughts and emotions. It dawned on me today that I haven’t taken time to write since Tuesday. Normally I journal everyday during naptime. Its where I work through the events of my day, record my thoughts, and most importantly, communicate with God. Writing is the language of my heart.

I can recall the darkest times in my life; the times where I was running from God and hiding from myself-those were years when I didn’t write. I mean, yes, I would occasionally write a poem or story or letter, but I didn’t write anything with substance. I didn’t pour my heart out on paper. I knew that if I did I would have to face reality and I was in no way ready for that.

Writing gives my emotions legs. The random thoughts, feelings, and perceptions that continually float through my mind are not reality until I put them on paper. It’s like writing is the missing link between my heart and real life. When I’m mad, hurt, afraid or frustrated, oftentimes I can’t pinpoint the reason, but once I sit down and write it out, it’s like all of the puzzle pieces come together and I can see the whole picture through clear eyes.

You know, I think that sometimes we get so busy that we forget to connect our real hearts to our real lives. We forget what breathes newness into our lives. We don’t take time everyday to speak the language of our hearts. I know writing is not what every heart speaks, but every heart has its own language. Some people need to be alone in the peace and quiet. Some may need to be outside, listening to the sounds of nature or working with animals. Others need music; it doesn’t matter what style, as long as it has a rhythm that touches them down to the core. Some people need other people to talk to, to help them make sense of their thoughts and feelings. Others need to make lists and create logical order of their thoughts. Some people need to move, dance, perform, exercise, or play a sport.

Whatever it is, every heart has a language that brings balance to your real life. If you are like me, when we don’t take time to connect with ourselves on a deeper level, we feel disconnected, burdened, overloaded and frustrated. We haven’t taken the time to deal with anger, hurts, and emotions and as a result, we bottle the events of life, ready to explode at a moment’s notice. During these times, it’s easier to make big decisions without consulting our true heart. It’s easier to make compromises because we aren’t truly in touch with our moral, spiritual, and real selves. And if you are like me, the more you run from speaking your heart’s language, the easier it is to keep God at arm’s length.

Take some time this week and let your life and heart connect. If you don’t “have time”, put it on your to-do list and actually check it off! I promise, it will be worth it just to be able to breathe again. And don’t forget to invite God along with you as you go.