20 Strange Things I Told My Kids in 2018

As a mother, I have said some very strange things to my kids. This year has been no different. Here are 20 funny phrases I found myself repeating (and, yes, I did use the word, repeating) throughout 2018. Enjoy.

  1. Don’t brush your brother with your toothbrush.
  2. Stop licking the cat.
  3. We don’t sit on our friends.
  4. Stop licking your brother.
  5. Don’t be afraid of “The Giant Dooder” in the bathroom.
  6. Stop licking your shoe. It walks on the ground. Dogs poop on the ground. Now there’s poop on your tongue. That’s just gross.
  7. Don’t stick that in your- oooh, yuck…too late.
  8. Stop licking Daddy’s feet. It’s really not a good idea. Really.
  9. It’s a green bean. You eat them all the time. Eat the green bean.
  10. Stop licking the car.
  11. Stop putting Baby Jesus in the nativity house. I’m tired of shaking him out of that tiny window every day!
  12. Don’t squeeze that lizard too hard, he’ll pop.
  13. Did you just pee on your brother?
  14. Please stop making your food dance at the table.
  15. You are acting just like your Papa Steve.
  16. We don’t climb and walk across our friends at church.
  17. Noodles don’t sing. Noodles don’t dance. Eat those spaghetti noodles. Now!
  18. Did you just lick the dog?
  19. Get out of the dryer.
  20. I sure do love you, but you’re a weird kid.

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