Pigheaded Stubbornness

Posted On February 1, 2024February 1, 2024

When I turned nine, I decided to ditch dance, and play baseball. I heard many comments about me being a girl and how girls couldn’t play with boys. As soon as I’d hear these type comments, something inside me swelled. Maybe pride. Or determination. But from that day forward, I decided I’d be as good or better than all those boys on the baseball field.

And I was. I drilled at home. Practiced on my own and with my dad. I refused to play “like a girl,” and as a result, earned my spot on every boy’s team I ever played on.

This pigheaded stubbornness followed me into each new thing I tried. From music, to journalism, to making decent grades—I have continued to be fueled by difficult tasks others say that I can’t do.

Seven years ago, I showed my husband a set of house plans. I’d been working on details and dimensions for a couple of years. He struggled to believe we could build our own home and many times, he looked at me like I was nuts, but I was driven enough to believe we could. And we did.

But the thing with stubbornness is that it has a mind of its own. Its own set of rules. And doesn’t listen to boundaries or consider moderation. As a result, many times the very trait that makes a person successful is also the same trait that forces them to stop in their tracks. An engine can only run at wide open for so long. At some point the pushing must slow. The determination, while it doesn’t run out, has to be tempered. And the pigheaded focus and momentum, well, it can’t be sustained long term without a recharge.

I take pride in my hardheadedness and consider it one of my noble qualities. No matter what, I keep pushing, even when life throws lemons the size of my head in my direction again and again. Whatever I’m working on, I strive to do it well and completely, mastering as much of the process as possible, and always challenging myself to improve as I learn more about the tasks and processes at hand.

So, what do I do with all this determination and hardheadedness when my physical activities have to be modified and limited for a season? I’ve taken on other activities and important projects to consume my time, but I feel deep frustration as I look at my physical limitations. Maybe because I’ve always been able to push through? Or if I put my mind to it, I could make it happen?

Humility is a pill I’m learning to swallow. Stopping. Slowing down. Resting. Moderation. Words I’ve always equated with failure are words that are now a part of future success. Pushing too hard can be good but pushing so hard that my body pays for it has moved into the pride department. I’ve placed my dependence on my body and not on God, the one who created and sustains my body. My body is letting me down, but God never will.

As I am learning to make this shift, I challenge you to consider the areas of pride in your life. As the bible says, pride goes before the fall. I see that now. Pride will always cause us to trip and fall, and often lay us down completely until we learn to practice humility. It’s a lesson I’m learning the hard way from years of feeding stubbornness.

How about you? Will you address your pride before you fall?