“Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Pick wisely.”

This is a meme that has been floating around Facebook lately and each time I see it on a friend’s page, I immediately stop in my tracks. Life. Is. Hard. And more often than not, the hard just comes and we don’t get a choice as to which hard we want.

I look around at my peers and see marriages falling apart leaving horrible brokenness in the wake. I look inside my own family and see innumerable health issues bearing down and causing strain to all who are connected. I look in the schools and see children confused by our world and raised by the screens that parents are using as babysitters. I look in our churches and see people desperate for hope, longing for healing that seems to never come. I look in our neighborhoods and see addiction, abuse, neglect, and fear prevailing over consistency, encouragement, positivity, and faith.

It’s in every direction. It’s in every home. It’s a common denominator that looks different in every person’s life. Life. Is. Hard.

The older I get, the more I realize that we all have a hard. And we can’t compare our hards to other people’s hards. What breaks one person to their knees might be what saves another person’s soul. The hard that is devastating a friend could be completely different than the hard that is crushing our spirit.

And yet, our hards level the playing field. They bring us to a place of brokenness. A place of humility. A place of need. A place of desperation. A place called help.

So instead of looking at someone’s life and thinking they have it all together, realize they are likely facing their own hard, even when their social media posts and plastered smiles say otherwise. No one likes to wear their hard on their sleeves, but how will we heal if we never reveal?

In the middle of your hard, make sure to let someone see you. The broken you. The hurting you. The secret you. We need each other. This life is too hard to do it alone. And if we are honest, we all have a hard that is bearing down on our soul. Take a chance and let someone help you carry it. Life. Is. Hard. Don’t do it alone.