I realized this week that kicking one bad habit doesn’t mean that I’ve kicked ALL habits. Sometimes, especially when financially we have to depend on God for every last dime up to the very last second…I tend to get a little frazzled. I question. I doubt. I try to patiently wait, but my insides are a jumbled up mess that won’t relax. As a result, my outlook gets twisted. My thoughts are consumed with worry and fear of the future, even though I know in my heart it will be okay. It’s like the wire gets disconnected from my heart to my head and my brain just doesn’t get the memo that God has taken care of us before and He can do it again. I get stressed in one area and all other situations get this haze about them. I try to think rationally and logically, and I can usually make it through the day, but by the time dark hits…all that I want is a chocolate milkshake. Or cake. Or candy. Or all of the above.
I know in my logical brain that all that this junk food will cure is my “sweet tooth” and in the end I will most likely end up with an upset stomach, sugar spike and drop, and the unquenchable desire for more and more sugar. But the frustrated, stressed out, over tired mama just wants a break and a way to escape, if even for just a few bites.
Why can’t Jesus just be my coping strategy? It would make so much more sense than turning to food. Why can’t I just remember how good He is and that He can help me beat any temptation? If I could just run to Him when I’m weary and heavy burdened, then when I look in the mirror I won’t see extra pounds and despise the resulting pudginess; I will look in the mirror and instead see the reflection of His image radiating through me. If He can help break one bad habit, He can help break another; but I have to be willing to let Him into that part of my heart and mind. I have to want Him more than I want sweets-more than I want my next breath.
Is anybody else out there tracking with me? Do you find yourself turning to other things before you turn to God? Are you so consumed with the stresses of life that you find yourself bogged down and resorting to old ways of handling things? Join with me and let’s make a conscious, moment by moment choice to seek Him when we are stressed and overloaded. At the end of the day when we want to whet our appetite with habits that will leave us feeling empty, let’s not just turn to Jesus, but let’s run full throttle, with every ounce of strength we have left to muster, toward Christ and not let go until He alone has filled our longings. It might mean that instead of “taking time” we “make some time” for journaling, God’s Word, praises, and prayer. It might mean that we miss our favorite show this week and instead, fill ourselves with His truth. It might even mean that we have to literally fight ourselves as we continuously say no to our habit for the umpteenth time.
I know it’s worth it. Are you in?
“’Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him, I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation.’” Psalm 91:14-15