So, for 30+ years I have had the bad habit of chewing my nails. It’s been a battle that I have never been able to master. The longest I’ve ever gone was 21 days back in 2009. It has become such a natural part of my life that I don’t even realize when I’m doing it. Saturday I made the executive decision to get fake nails and I am going to attempt this venture again. My goal is to make it to the end of September wearing these fake nails and hopefully by then I will have broken the cycle of nail biting. It’s a good plan in theory.
In saying all of that, I have never had nails that were longer than the end of my fingers (except for the few times I’ve had fake ones for weddings). The past few days have been quite the adventure. I was standing in the kitchen last night and David commented on my nails. I held them out and said, “I already got paint on them, had to maneuver them in strange ways while sawing lumber, just about couldn’t zip up my pants, and had a booger in my nose that I couldn’t get out. I just don’t think I’m cut out for these things!”
For those of you who have always had nails, you may not realize what life is like when a “nailless” one gets nails. It really changes things like washing my hair used to be just a thing that I had to do. Now, I get my head scratched at the same time! And, here’s something else for you, I can actually scratch someone else’s back and not just nub it with my finger tips. That’s so amazing! I can open packages and plastic better and more efficiently. I can even sort through stacks of paper without licking my fingertips.
But, I do find myself getting a bit frustrated, too. I tried to scratch my eye and almost poked a hole through it. A bug flew into my ear and I couldn’t get it out without stabbing my ear canal. It took me almost 10 minutes to try to get Carter dressed without scratching or stabbing him. I was trying to take out my earrings and it was like using chopsticks to pick up a string bean.
But, in the long run, I hope it will be worth it. If nothing else, I feel more confident about my hands now and I don’t find myself hiding them from others like I always have. This may seem like such a small thing, but for me, this is something that has mastered me my whole life. I’m tired of not being able to conquer this (as well as a few others things) and now is the time. I’ve decided this is one of several habits that I no longer want in my life.
I want to encourage you to examine your own life for the “big” and the “small” things that “you just can’t seem to beat”. The last part of 2 Peter 2:19 states, “…For people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.” I few years back, I tackled some larger issues in my life and with God’s help, got a handle on some sinful habits, but now it’s time to tackle some of the “smaller” ones that are still there. If it’s something that “you just can’t stop”, it’s probably a lot bigger than you realize. Ask God to help you and get others to help hold you accountable. For me, I want no other master but God-everything else has got to go. We always have a choice as to what we allow to master us. It’s time to stop believing the lie that we “will always be this way”. Who or what is your master? Let’s decide and do something about it.